I don’t expect a lot from a movie called “Dawn of the Dragonslayer,” but I do think it is reasonable for me to anticipate a crappy movie that is packed to the gills with dragons. At least this is what Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale have led me to believe.
That said, I understand CGI dragons aren’t cheap and if you aren’t blessed with a Hollywood-sized budget then said dragons could be a little harder to come by.
Even still, the good people at the Syfy channel have been able to scrape together enough cash to give the people what they want whenever a Dinocroc meets a Supergator, or a Mega Python faces down a Gatoroid.
I suppose I should be fair to “Dawn of the Dragonslayer” in that the film does open up with a little bit of dragon action as a hastily rendered one shows up just long enough to cook the father of our hero Will (Richard McWilliams).
Then we get a little dragon-teaser about halfway through before the big dragon-filled climax that, quite frankly, could have used a little more dragon.
Anyway, most of this movie is about Will and his quest for vengeance which leads him to the home of Baron Sterling (Ian Cullen).
Sterling has a family connection to Will and a rep for being a great warrior. Sterling is a huge jerk but agrees to train Will in the art of warfare, which apparently involves a lot of sparring with wooden swords.
Sterling may be a tool, but at least he has a hot daughter, Kate (Nicola Posener) who for some reason is into Will. Perhaps it is for his wooden-sword prowess.
Unfortunately, Kate is betrothed to rock-jawed, uber-jock Rogan (Philip Brodie) who, like pretty much everyone else in the movie, is constantly belittling Will.
Eventually, everyone rides off to face the dragon, including Kate who dabbles in bitchcraft, er witchcraft, and proves quite handy at deflecting spouts of fire.
“Rise of the Dragonslayer” was filmed in Ireland and what it lacks in dragons it makes up for in rolling green hills and medieval castles, which I can only assume litter the countryside like beer cups after a high school kegger.
But aside from some lovely travelogue shots of the Emerald Isle, this movie left me feeling a lot like rock legend Bruce Dickenson. I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is more dragon.
